Mother’s Day is complicated. Nonetheless, I hope you have a happy day.

For those of you who have good relationships with your mother… Or have good relationships with your children… For those of you who have lost your mother… and those who lost your child… For those of you whose babies weren’t born…. For those of you whose mothers weren’t the mothers you needed or wanted… For ambivalent mothers and mothers who are certain they aren’t doing what’s right for your kid because you have no idea what that is… For mothers flying by the seat of their pants… For women who are pressed to be mothers when they don’t want to be… And those pressed to not be mothers when they DO want to be… And those who are trying, TRYING so hard right now to become mothers…

For those who want to be mothers but for whatever reason can’t be… For those whose children are driving you legitimately bonkers right now… For those who have good relationships with their mothers and are partnered with someone who does not…And vice versa… For step moms and adoptive moms and foster moms and the people who step in when there’s no mom available… For those whose mothers are sick right now… For mothers who are worried about their children’s health… For those who wanted more children… and those who wanted fewer…

For genderqueer folx who gave birth, are giving birth or want to give birth, despite the misgendering…. For the aunties and grannies and others who hold their mama friend or her kids when she can’t go on… For those who lost an auntie or granny or stepmom or another who was like a mother to them… For mothers with post-partum depression and mothers whose children saved their lives… For all of these and more.

Happy Mother’s Day. May you have the space to feel the complexity of happiness, grief, bitterness, love, gratitude, anger, joy, peace, frustration, loss and fulfillment that comes from navigating these relationships.

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Everything we would talk about if we had an hour to talk about your boundaries over lunch.