Consent

27 Alternatives To Asking “Is This Okay?”

When it comes to sexytimes, we all want to know if what we’re doing in bed is working for our partner. Unfortunately, knowing what or how to ask doesn’t always come as second nature. You fumble, try to read clues and more often [...]

27 Alternatives To Asking “Is This Okay?” 2017-12-06T12:30:38+00:00

“OKAY” Is A Four-Letter Word

Talking about what you want in bed (and for that matter, in life) is scary, tricky business. Admitting something you want takes guts, and no one wants to be laughed at or rejected for sharing something tender with a loved one. [...]

“OKAY” Is A Four-Letter Word 2017-12-08T19:37:36+00:00

How to Give Feedback During Sexytimes

So there you are, in bed, having an.... okay time. It's not that there's anything wrong exactly. It's just not... right either. Telling your partner you want something different during sex than what they’re doing can be terrify [...]

How to Give Feedback During Sexytimes 2017-12-08T19:38:01+00:00

The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling

The world is not friendly to our desires. In over a decade of relationship coaching and sex ed, I’ve talked with thousands of people about why they don’t ask for what they want. Reasons include: not knowing what to want, not ha [...]

The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling 2017-12-06T12:38:50+00:00

8 Ways to Hear a No Gracefully

The more you ask for what you want in your intimate life and daily life, the more you’re likely to hear both yesses and nos. Rejection can sting, but there’s also an opportunity to build connection when you can hear a no gracef [...]

8 Ways to Hear a No Gracefully 2017-12-06T13:03:34+00:00

12 Ways To Say No Gracefully (Without Saying “Maybe Later”)

Grace: (n)simple elegance or refinement of movement; courteous goodwill. We all want connection. Saying no can feel terrifying, especially if you are afraid of losing connection with someone you care about. Rejecting someone yo [...]

12 Ways To Say No Gracefully (Without Saying “Maybe Later”) 2017-12-08T19:38:21+00:00

16 Ways to Talk About Consent (That Are Pretty Sexy…)

Here's a stack of wonderful ways to check in with your partner, to find out more of what they want, and to communicate your own desires. Try some today! "Do you like when I...?" "I like when you..." "Will you...?" "How does thi [...]

16 Ways to Talk About Consent (That Are Pretty Sexy…) 2017-12-08T12:14:09+00:00

What Do I Do When I’m A Maybe?

Several years ago, I co-founded a touch-and-communication workshop called Cuddle Party. In it, we have rules that say that if you're a yes, say Yes. If you're a no, say No. And if you're a maybe, say No. (Because you can always [...]

What Do I Do When I’m A Maybe? 2017-12-06T13:16:16+00:00

The Four Monogamies (Which Ones Matter To You?)

What is monogamy? Judging from the length of the Wikipedia entry, that's not a simple question to answer. Yet monogamy is a fundamentally assumed aspect of relationships in our culture, a starting point that is embraced (with v [...]

The Four Monogamies (Which Ones Matter To You?) 2017-12-08T13:14:18+00:00
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