ARTICLES

“OKAY” Is A Four-Letter Word

Talking about what you want in bed (and for that matter, in life) is scary, tricky business. Admitting something you want takes guts, and no one wants to be laughed at or rejected for sharing something tender with a loved one. [...]

“OKAY” Is A Four-Letter Word2018-07-01T21:17:26+00:00

How to Give Feedback During Sexytimes

So there you are, in bed, having an.... okay time. It's not that there's anything wrong exactly. It's just not... right either. Telling your partner you want something different during sex than what they’re doing can be terrif [...]

How to Give Feedback During Sexytimes2018-07-01T21:20:30+00:00

The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling

The world is not friendly to our desires. In over a decade of relationship coaching and sex ed, I’ve talked with thousands of people about why they don’t ask for what they want. Reasons include: not knowing what to want, not h [...]

The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling2018-07-01T21:23:26+00:00

8 Ways to Hear a No Gracefully

The more you ask for what you want in your intimate life and daily life, the more you’re likely to hear both yesses and nos. Rejection can sting, but there’s also an opportunity to build connection when you can hear a no grace [...]

8 Ways to Hear a No Gracefully2018-07-01T21:26:52+00:00

12 Ways To Say No Gracefully (Without Saying “Maybe Later”)

Grace: (n)simple elegance or refinement of movement; courteous goodwill. We all want connection. Saying no can feel terrifying, especially if you are afraid of losing connection with someone you care about. Rejecting someone y [...]

12 Ways To Say No Gracefully (Without Saying “Maybe Later”)2018-07-01T21:29:45+00:00

21 Things to Stop Tolerating This Year

So we’re a few weeks into the new year, and by now your goals/resolutions/intentions are either sticking, or they’re not. If they are, great! Gold stars all around! If they’re not, it might be because you haven’t made room for [...]

21 Things to Stop Tolerating This Year2018-07-01T21:34:11+00:00

Sex Culture Revolutionary: An Interview with Polly Superstar

(Originally published Feb 2015) I first met Polly Superstar in early 2008, when I was visiting San Francisco from New York. Scheduled to be there for nine weeks while teaching and taking classes, I somehow landed at (and basic [...]

Sex Culture Revolutionary: An Interview with Polly Superstar2018-07-01T21:37:58+00:00

Relationship Survival At Burning Man – What You Need To Know

Dear Marcia, I’m going to Burning Man this year for the first time with my partner and I want to make sure our relationship doesn’t implode. What are some things we should watch out for? - Playa Bound Dear Playa Bound, Burning [...]

Relationship Survival At Burning Man – What You Need To Know2018-07-01T21:40:46+00:00

16 Ways to Talk About Consent (That Are Pretty Sexy…)

Here's a stack of wonderful ways to check in with your partner, to find out more of what they want, and to communicate your own desires. Try some today! "Do you like when I...?" "I like when you..." "Will you...?" "How does th [...]

16 Ways to Talk About Consent (That Are Pretty Sexy…)2018-07-01T21:44:25+00:00

What I mean when I talk about love is…

Love is confusing. It’s messy and unpredictable and wild and untamable. It obeys no laws, adheres to no restrictions. It’ll knock the socks off of you and everyone around you. And the wind out of you too. What with the wind an [...]

What I mean when I talk about love is…2018-07-01T21:47:24+00:00
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