So we’re a few weeks into the new year, and by now your goals/resolutions/intentions are either sticking, or they’re not.
If they are, great! Gold stars all around!
If they’re not, it might be because you haven’t made room for them. There’s just too much stuff on the table. You know that feeling of overwhelm and too many demands?
The easiest way to make room for what you want, is to stop tolerating things you don’t.
Toleration: (n) the people, events or situations that you put up with, that drain your energy.
Tolerating things is a waste of time and effort. They keep you from being yourself and enjoying life to the fullest. Generally, it’s a fast-track to anger, frustration and irritability, and almost everyone does too much of this.
We do it because we don’t want to make a fuss.
We do it because it’s easier to just put up with it.
We do it because “Who has the time?”
But tolerations add up. They’re like holes your personal happiness cup. You put happiness in, but you end up feeling drained anyway. Every little thing that doesn’t matter that much, but makes you a little bit annoyed (or downright grumpy) is something you’re tolerating, and if you’re like most people, I bet you have dozens, if not hundreds, of them.
On top of that, we tell ourselves little lies to make it seem okay:
“It’s not a big deal.”
“He didn’t mean it that way.”
“I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Or big ones:
“I’m not good enough to have that.”
“I don’t deserve that.”
“If I were really enlightened, this wouldn’t bother me.”
So not only are you putting up with things that don’t work for you, you’re also confusing yourself about what’s actually reality.
From there, it’s almost impossible to know what you actually want, much less make it happen.
So, for the new year, here are 21 things to stop tolerating.
- Relationships that drain you
- A work environment or career that you hate
- Work that isn’t aligned with your worth
- Uncomfortable beds, shoes or chairs
- Not having the right tools for the job
- Making plans with people you don’t really want to see, or to do things you don’t really want to do
- That voice in your head that tells you “you suck”
- Other people’s negativity
- Not getting enough sleep
- Sitting too much
- Not drinking enough water
- Trying to make everyone happy all the time / what other people think of you
- Keeping up with the Joneses
- Thinking that perfect exists
- Bad sex
- Unfinished business
- Lack of intimacy
- Constantly managing your emotional state to “okay”
- Not getting the help you need
- Not saying what you need
Because we’re so used to putting up with stuff, it may be hard to even see it at first. I invite you to lean into your self-honesty here, and ask yourself:
What am I tolerating?
What is this costing me?
Why have I been tolerating it? (i.e., What’s the payoff been?)
What’s actually true about what I want?
What is one small but powerful step I can take toward the truth?
Then write it down, and post where you can see it:
I will no longer tolerate …
Instead, I choose to…
For more on tolerations, download my free ebook: Good Girl Gone Bad (where I share over 50 things I’ve been tolerating.)