Getting to “Fuck Yes”: Clear Communication for the Bedroom

Do you often find yourself less than satisfied with what you receive from your partner(s) and other relationships?

Do you hide what you really want from your partner, or even yourself?

Would you like to learn how to ask so that you get a “FUCK YEAH!” instead of an “OKAY, SURE”?

In this recording of a live call, we unravel and discuss the murky and mysterious issues around desire and communication, including:

  • Why we don’t ask & what we do instead
  • Desire smuggling (what it is and why it matters)
  • Why “Is this okay?” is NOT the question to ask (and what to ask instead)
  • Why “Do you want to ___?” is only 1/4 of the equation of asking
  • How to make room for fun experimentation in bed

Plus, despite some minor technical issues, we got some GREAT questions, including:

  • What do you do when your partner doesn’t “get it” and you don’t know how to describe it?
  • Given common gender dynamics, as a man, how can you make sure your female parters don’t just “go along with it” when you ask for something?
  • How do you talk about something that you want to do often, without it feeling pressured or bringing it up at a bad time?

You can listen to the whole thing here:

Or, right click to download.

“Beyond Monogamy” on KQED

kqedThis morning, I had the pleasure of being interviewed on KQED’s Forum today, along with local sexaratti William Winters, Polly Superstar and Pepper Mint, about polyamory in the Bay Area.

We hit on some common misconceptions about polyamory, mistakes people make, why we do it, and a bunch more. You can listen here.

(I also learned that you’re not allowed to talk about sex toys on public radio! Oops!)

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